Cosmic Theory

Isn’t Autism .  .  . too concrete to understand abstract religious concept?

Probably AS tends to have more abstract ability than an autie. I’m happy to hear feedback on this. I am sure I have been able to wrap my mind around some abstract concepts, yet I need to understand ‘abstract’ in more concrete terms and can’t come up with an example now.

Religion is full of abstract concepts, yet religion is a construct of Man, not God. It is to glorify the organization and is socio-political more than faith/belief based. I have some constructs myself that help me understand the concept of a Creator and Higher Power. I do not dictate to any other person how to believe and will share my thoughts only if asked. Usually a mistake since askers are rarely seekers but fight-picking ‘my way is the only way’ types.

I read the Bible more than once in elementary school and have studied other Holy Books asking for guidance. My belief are between me and my concept of God. I dislike being forced to violate my beliefs because they are imputed other bases than belief. {“You don’t/can’t/quit belief in (speaker’s version of) God.} or I am ridiculous etc. I try to please, then feel guilt, while they have no appreciation.

I believe in Jesus as the Anointed one/Christ/Messiah Who was predicted and Who died for everyone’s sins if they accept His sacrifice. That makes me a Christian, right? And, I do all in my power to follow God’s teachings in every part of my life, so I am Muslimah, right?  I meditate to bring a calm I can carry with me so I am Hindu, right? I must be a Buddhist if I love life and don’t even want to kill fleas, right?

Jesus may have been back several times. His recorded words indicate planning to be back in His follower’s lifetimes. We probably fail the test every time. He certainly would not be accepted if He came as an Autistic! A bum, far more likely, so that is the example pastors always use. It is possible for society to see itself CLEANING up a bum and taking him to church. Could you take a vocalizing, rocking, bouncing, laughing, finger stimming autistic who wears sweats inside out, covers their ears and maybe smells, yet can’t be cleaned up? Would you see Jesus and show respect for the Glory of God?

I only bounce, but that offends and is inadequate for me to process auditory input. Why go to church and be told to leave every one? I try, but rarely get a chance to learn anyway. That was why I went- to learn about God, not socialize and show off clothes and face paint. I would still go if there were a place for me like the nursery for babies. And an understanding not to say more than ‘hello’ . . .

I am confused about Blogging


I had some more written to post here when I began to get phone calls about how I was “going about ‘this?’ all wrong.” They were trying to sell services to help me. (selling site, blog correctly, articles for me to copy, ratings and rankings, ?,?,?, etc.)  I know I am on ‘scam lists’  but no money and no comprehension of what they are saying is complete protection from their wiles. I am 3.5 months now on internet!   -besides email.

Nothing protects me from my first half century. I wanted the second to be different. I hoped to share to help other adult autistics,  parents planning futures,  young persons wondering what happens after services stop and  all the curious. Not to be. I am still a five-year-old trying to find the words that won’t result in a beating.

How do I overcome the belief imprinted into me that I am the inferior being and always defer to superior persons who ‘fit in’ mainstream society?  I must stop, run, hide or do what ever may calm the superior being who can beat me or make painful incomprehensible sounds at me and and even kill me in a horribly painful manner, then CPR me back for more torture.  Never is there any recourse – attempts bring more of same.


The Universe won’t let me online to post.  Now that I got the courage to go ahead. It sent a wind storm to remove internet service for now,  so I will just write some more thoughts.

My daughter said, on a sample store site, that I would review books and products here and I will do that. I will review books I have read and refer to good review of books if they make the point well. Products I have used or tried and like or that my son or nephew enjoyed/learned from can be covered. I can refer to reviews here too if they are expressed more fitly than I could do. I am pleased to help helpful people make money.

I did not start this blog primarily for a ‘book and product review’ site. Having it dictated to me activates my stubborness, so if looking for these, be patient and they will come. This is primarily to share ideas of what has helped or not.  Not to sell books and make a bunch of money, yet I would like to have affiliates I believe in and provide access to books for purchase.  I won’t be able to hold a job again, but I want to support myself .  If I do bring in adequate income, I will share that information also for others to use the same ideas.  This would be an unanticipated bonus; however, a welcome one.

I am signing up for Young Living Essential Oils and will post a web site if I get one, but that is not what I will review unless I found it related to autism in some way. There are other topics that interest me, mostly organic and natural healing products. That relates to autism as it has long been an obsession of mine. Mainstream drugs have idiosyncratic, opposite and over reactions in my body, so Natural Medicine became an early obsession.  My Special Interest focuses specifically on essential oils now.

first Special Needs request: Sensory Issues

Isn’t Autism .  .  .  A Special Needs case?

I think it surely is, more than less. Especially early in life. Yet we are not ‘normalized’ at 18 or 21 or ever if there is such a thing as a ‘cure’ for a genetic difference yet. (I think I read about rats or some creature having gene cure-post a link if you know the article) Personally, I am happy the way I am and cannot imagine being ‘normal’ and knowing how to deceive, game and bully etc.

Maybe I am ‘self-centered’ but I want to talk about adult need first. I think they have been neglected. Even diagnosis of persons my age are neglected because you cannot be diagnosed after 3 for autism (any age for aspies). I was diagnosed, but when I learned to read, it was kind of abandon for ODDism and mom was no longer a ‘refrigerator’. Doctor Hellyer died a few years after I was re-diagnosed yet I am sure there were not any records left after half a century anyhow. We do have a local specialist who has expertise in adult diagnosis and I had parents to provide a childhood history. I was not talking until three and then recall punishment for being ‘smart’ which meant bad because I repeated what the people said and/or reversed pronouns. I figured it out pretty quick. If you suspect you are on the spectrum, I will be posting testing links on a links page soon. Probably not a good idea to get a diagnosis on record for insurance reasons. Unless you are getting disability and AS is not enough, not even HFA without other factors, trust the tests and be content without spending more.

Do we still recognize our needs or do we sublimate them and ‘forget’ ?

Did fluorescent light drive you crazy as a school child and now you have to live with it to have a job? Do you wear shades?

Are there sounds that are painful or make you irritable? Just too much sound? Do ear muffs sound inviting?

Are some smells too powerful, nauseating, cause migraines? Can you pick out timy scents from the smelly mess we live in?

Is light touch soothing and deep pressure painful? More likely the opposite! Would you like to go to the tanning parlor to rent the squeeze machine for an hour? I don’t know why only children get this and very few of them.

Do you prefer sateen or furry bedsheet/blankets? I love scratchy towels and won’t use others no matter how lovely.

Do you remember rocking, hopping, bouncing, swinging, skipping to the point of parental fussing? Bouncing my leg helps me think and stopping makes thoughts stop. It is NOT nerves like every normie claims.

Are there any food or tastes or mouth textures you love or hate? That is too broad, but I am looking for things like my love of garlic like candy. Fresh herbs, chili, ginger and onion too. I dislike ishy white bread and sweets except for a rare craving. I avoid ice in drinks. When I am depressed, I need crunchy food like fat-free croutons.  My nephew has a “C” food diet (and GI issues) cheese, chicken, crackers and candy.

This post needs responses and I will return to this topic since my goal is making life easier for onrushing generations.

First Issue to Address

Isn’t Autism . . . a disease/mental disorder etc. that we suffer from/are afflicted with?

I don’t really want to discuss this and am not sure how to address the issue without offending someone. I do not feel I am ‘dis’ abled, I have been given the wrong set of abilities for this society, thus I call myself ‘mis’ abled. It feels better to me. Someone else may feel disabled. I don’t think any of us on the spectrum would agree with being afflicted with a ‘disease’ though both sides certainly have their ease dissed. Even though Professionals continue to insist Autism is a Mental (thought) disorder as proclaimed in their bible, Neurological difference is the more appropriate term.

I can’t generalize across all forms of autism since we continue to learn more and differentiate more subgroups or causes. All of us ‘suffer’ from the mismatch with society, yet, I do not blame my neurological difference. It is the intolerance, rigidity and lack of empathy in the general mainstream of Society. Even the sensory issues would be minimal in a less smelly, noisy, crowded, polluted world. Others are trapped in a separate place and no one knows how much these persons are suffering or how intelligent they are.

Many of us want to work, but need tolerance and some assistance from co-workers. We could be a valuable addition to the work force if even plant managers with aspie sons were not terrified of an autistic on their work-site. I don’t want to get too personal, but it is typical to have postgraduate training and be considered ‘unfit’ for minimum wage repetitive, fine detail work everyone hates and we are willing to do. We would not be accused of being such a drain on society if we were permitted to have employment suited to our special skills. It would improve our esteem to contribute to society and one less way we are bullied and put down all our lives. The genetic type HFA/AS were here before, but we fit in on farms and frontiers better than cities. Or maybe burned as witches – who knows.

Hello world!

I am a High-Functioning Autistic. I am not too angry when called ‘aspie’ which means a person thinks I am doing better than reality. I am offended by the ‘compliment’ “you don’t look Autistic” because it is a prejudice about how we should look with an ‘invisible’ misability (my term for ‘differently abled) or are they claiming my life of autism did not happen! I want this to be a positive place where we can all share our ideas to make the world a better place, specifically for those on the autism spectrum: (Asperger Syndrome, AS, Autism Spectrum disorder, ASD,  High- Functioning Autism, HFA,  Autism, Autistic Cousins, AC, PDD-NOS, aspies, auties and normies who care.) Don’t worry if you don’t know all the terms; none are meant to be derogatory and you would not be here if you were not at least a person who cares. My belief is that we ASDs are here to benefit this world, not be a blight. How can we find our place unless the majority of ‘normal’ humans or nicknamed ‘normies’, let us into their circles and listen to us? I expect disagreement and I also expect it to be tolerant disagreement. We all have different life experiences and views.  Let’s avoid Right and Wrong, Black and White etc. even though that is easier for ASDs and normies alike. Many of us hold fear, distrust and grudges against normies who have bullied us all our lives. And normies have an innate fear of the ‘other’ from cave days to overcome. There is no place for that here. I will expect anyone offended or disagreeing to say something without judgement, so we can learn.